Archive for May, 2007

LeBron James - Adult Child

You’d never be able to prove it right now but, Lebron has all the earmarks of a Gen X or Y kid, children of divorce…an adult child.

These adult children are moody, unable to sustain motivation, biting fingernails nervous, thrown into situations too early…hell, he probably had to take care of a younger sibling when he was young. I bet his parents are divorced.

Gen X or Y kids are the children of Baby Boomers; they were the parents of their parents and faced some of the scariest family dynamics a generation has ever faced.

They can disappear into their minds like noone’s business and they can skate through life lazily and without being engaged; it’s not just kids being kids, this is a real malady.

I was one and it took me a few years to wake up. Now that I see LeBron more and more, I am convinced that he is a Gen X or Y with all the earmarks of a disassociated kid.

Google ACOA (Adult Children of Alcoholics) or even disassociation. He has all the signs and I bet his fingers bleed sometimes from the amount of chewing he does (another sign: self mutilation).

My point is that this is an entire generation of kids born to Baby Boomers and these kids get a lot of shit for being lazy, distant and for ‘phoning’ things in.

But there’s more to it than meets the eye.

and since you are more Gen X than Baby Boomer, I thought you might appreciate another perspective on this ‘kid’.

My heart goes out to this kid. I bet under it all there is a depressed child looking for a parent.

Baby Boomers, Corporations and College

You need college, you’re going to college…

Great for those that got it paid for but some had loans. Then there’s the debt.

And what about us with debt!? The nineties was an orgy of lending. My once reasonable BF/MFA set of loans (60,000) is now bursting $100,000.

And they want what a month ($650) ? Now I have to be a slave because I make $2000 a month and pay 900$ rent??!!! Food? Maybe! Are you kidding?

HELP!! HELP US!!! Baby Boomers!? Help?

I was told to go to college. You told us to go to college. SOCIETY SAID GO TO COLLEGE!

I do it and now I’m a slave-

HELP! Help all of us before you create a class of slaves!!!


Illuminati? Are we still confused?

We know there is a ruling class, a top 1%, that weilds the real power in this country, in this world.

We don’t need anymore fucking proof, right? Does anyone really not believe that we are the slave class?

Fuck their fucking symbols. They rule.
What’cha gonna do about it?

on Secret Skeptics

All of the negativity from people bashing the Secret is laced with massive amounts of superiority complex. People, skeptics think that they are above this ‘magical’ thinking and so much more grounded and centered than those that look and see a magical reality.

And it’s true that people take it too far into the realm of wish fulfillment but, but really, we don’t know anymore than they do about the truth of this Universe via quantum physics, classical reality and even your supported visualization.

My point is that it is the possibilities and keeping an open mind that will make this Secret become a tool. Nothing wrong with some imagination and wonder and excitement to go along with your skepticism, right? And finding this commonality is important. These ideas are older than 100 years, they are timeless, they are rooted in the constructs of the Universe; they are Universal truths.

Society in general, has always taken ideas and homogenized them for mmass consumption. That doesn’t make them wrong. That does make them less ‘cool’, but I’m not gonna flush it all down the toilet because it isn’t cool anymore.

This stuff is exciting. To finally take our place in this Universe as a willing participant in the creation of our reality and this shared reality is very COOL.

Binge Journal #10

It has been nine days since I last checked in. There has been some reduction in the shape of my midsection; less of it. It’s happening. My face is more defined, the jawline.

There has been less binging for sure. I am eating smaller meals understanding that I was elongating the meal to make it last…always more. And smaller mouthfuls; less stuffing of my face… Oh, I can eat unconsciously. I can also choke very easily when I chew too little and swallow too son. Mindless eating.

But I have binged a little. And I have missed some meals, dinners mostly. I have eaten too much junk, but eaten more whole foods. This week is killer as my group at my day job is hosting screenings for international buyers. The food is top notch and lots of it. And lots of whole foods. I’ve been eating my share.

And that’s all good. I am very surprised at how easy I have negotiated the dinner issues (size, quality, pace) once I honestly looked at the habits and understood their dynamics.

The Secret - It doesn’t bite and isn’t a threat to your way of life…geesh!

A lot of the comments in the threads on Oprah’s hawking of “The Secret” are being made without knowing more than what the article says about the ideas of the Law of Attraction, The Secret, Reality, Quantum Physics.

While Oprah is a commercially flawed way to introduce what is a legitimate Field of study: our mind and its relation to all other matter, our mind’s affect on the outside world in the form of physics and quantum matter and how the reality of these quickly developing Sciences will shape our world - Oprah’s treatment of this film/idea does NOT make up for the study and time needed to understand what is a complex and developing Science.

Making it about another “American’s are stupid” thread or focusing on how a few people will try to use it as a quick fix does not diminish this a the next great frontier: our mind and how it interacts with life and our relationship with matter as matter.

The Secret isn’t a religeon, it’s Physics.

No one wants to take anything away from you

I am at a loss as to why people need to rail against the ideas in “The Secret”. Like by having new ideas we are threatening the sad, boring, depressive life that they hold so dear.

These ideas are as old as Emerson, Thoreou (sp?), the Transendentalists, Religeous Science, Unity…These ideas have been seen in countless religeions and is now being proven in Quantum Physics (see Heisenberg uncertainty principle)…

For more info see “What the Bleep Do We Know”

We are so much more of a intregal part of this Universe…why stay cowering meat puppets when the truth is, we are a direct representation of God on earth.

Enjoy the power of thought or don’t - no one really cares

Cynicism is great until it becomes your entire schtick. The idea that we are evolving doesn’t have to be scary. Change is inevitable. Your view of life is going to change, our view of this Universe is bound to change.

We aren’t at the END of learning and Evolution…right?

I mean, how can you be sure of your own ideals, thoughts and ‘reality’ are exactly what you have deemed them to be? Are you really the best judge of what “reality” really consists of; of the truths that you hold so dear?

Let some difference into your mind and allow yourself the opprotunity to be wrong and not have that be a bad thing.

Or don’t, no one really needs to care what you think and believe.

Bashing “The Secret”

No, I’m not going to bash it…I have seen my mind work wonders.

The whole “secret” thing revolves around changing your beliefs and the reality that you create with your mind (sickness is that reality; dis-ease). By doing this you can ultimately heal yourself by changing the cause of your suffering and sickness: your mind

The problem is that this old reality and the collective reality that we all share is that medicine and doctors heal. This reality is old and pervasive and we all share it.

To change this reality you would have to study and work on your thoughts for years to get to a place where you could have an effect on your body and ultimately change the reality that has developed all your life.

But until that time, you have to allow the current reality to continue because you believe it. If you believe it then it is the reality. Just listening to Oprah and watching the movie are not going to ‘fix’ your mind and allow you to change your thoughts, your beliefs and reality.

Until then, you must go with the reality that is dominant…and that is doctors and medicine fix us.

Until someone is strong enough mentally to make this switch they are better off sticking with traditional means…

This is the exact same thing that happened a couple of decades ago with Christian Science.

And spare me (please) the judgements of being looney. I have changed major thought patterns in my life and seen how the power of thought can bring about amazing things. This is not magic, this is truth.

Death and Before Rising

(Pre Zombie)

I’ve been post-mortem for 10 days now and they refuse to burn my body they way I wanted it done - something about my misguided Mother wanting a viewing and a proper burial. Funny how she’s always been worried about which gutter I was lying or the ditch I had come to rest. Hell, just another way for her to worry. I know my sister would fulfill my wishes but she would never stand up to my Mother.

But this place ain’t so bad. I got my own drawer and a nice little sheet and the neighbors aren’t bad. Mr. Thompson’s getting ready to head to the home, and Sally says she’s in a better place cause anywhere’s better than the one bedroom apartment where she took her beatings. I guess I am a little sick of the bitchin’ and moanin’, but you know how people are when some big change happens in their lives. I can’t blame them…I’ve always been good with change, never really bothered me. Might be because I was an Army brat and my Father was always dragging us around.

Mom did the same thing when the old man died. He wanted a small quick funeral and had it all prepared and everything. But would she let it go? Hell no! It’s almost like she needed that one last feeling of control. She did that all my life. Like how I wanted to go into the military and she made me go to college. Always trying to make me do something I didn’t want. And here we are again, you think she’d just be happy to see our final wishes out. No way buddy, not her. One more way to keep me under her goddamn thumb.

Aw, what the hell am I talking about? This shouldn’t be a time of anger. This is the great beyond and here I am whining about my Mother. She means well. Just wants the best.
There’s a new guy today, think his name is Bobby or Tommy or something like that. Christ, who knows with all the damn blubbering he’s doin’. Everybody’s getting’ a little sick of him. I mean hell, we all got problems right? If he mentions one more time about how the goddamn cigarette company killed him slowly and lied to him, I think I’ll climb outta this drawer and give him something to really bitch about.

There’s also this sweet little number in drawer 3. She came in last night and has the sweetest little voice. I mean, I think she was a hooker, but hell this is the afterlife and everyone deserves a second chance. I’d like to be the one who gives her that chance. Maybe I’ll meet her on the other side and we can shake the mortal coil and our bodies. HA!
Oh my Mother would roll over in her grave if she saw that one. Well, roll over in bed considering she’s still alive and all. She never approved of any of the girls I brought home. Hell, that’s why I never got married.

Really she’s not a bad person, she only wants the best for her baby. I guess I should be thanking her for caring about me, with the way I died and all. It wasn’t a pretty picture. I mean they’re gonna have a hell of a time fixin’ me up for the open casket. The restoration alone’s gonna cost a pretty penny and for what? So everyone I knew can come and gawk at me and say, “Thank God that isn’t me”. Well someday it will be you and when it is I’m gonna be there looking at you saying the same goddamn thing. Umm, well, maybe I won’t be there but somebody else will and you’ll feel the same damn way I do right now. And another thing-

Wait, they’re pulling me out of the drawer. I can hear the Doctor saying something…What?! Huh? There sending me to the crematorium! Yes! My sister did it. But How? She never could stand up to Mom. But she must have. Take that you old bitch. Take that! That’s for all the times you disapproved, for all the times you wouldn’t let me have that second piece of pie, for all the times it had to be your way or the highway. Take that. Take that! Haha!

But don’t get me wrong. My Mother was a wonderful woman. Very loving and supportive. I remember one time when I was ten and she took us-

Oh sorry, gotta go. The afterlife’s a callin’ Catch you on the rebound or on the other side or whatever the hell happens. Nice talkin’ to ya.

Burn baby burn! Haha!

Binge Journal #9

I’m chipping away at this ancient habit, little by little. I refuse to weigh myself but have started to notice a change in my body shape. My problem areas are my love handles and breasts as well as the shape of my jaw line. All areas are changing. I have more of a shadow around my jaw line which means the first few pounds have come off and my love handles are smaller.

The odd thing is that, at first, things are changing shape as opposed to just reducing. It almost seems like it gets worse before it gets better. But I can feel the change…and I know the change is happening. Know

That’s the amazing thing about my recovery: every time I want to change something, I look at that habit with unabashed honesty and understand it from the idea that I am repeating an ancient habit. This is hard at first as human behavior works to avoid facing itself and its ‘bad habits’. But once I faced it and understood what was happening and how it works, I could no longer go on with that same behavior. Amazing. And the truth is, I haven’t really changed much at all.

No longer can I eat with the same compulsion. No longer does this happen with me in a disassociated state. And remember, I will never diet or skimp on eating. I believe firmly that this all works better because for the first time in my life, my little boy inside trusts me. When I tell him we are going to change something, I do it without forcing him or making him do something he doesn’t want to do. By examining my habits honestly and going very slowly, patiently, things happen much easier.

I refuse to hurt him anymore. I refuse to push him and force him. I refuse to be anything but his good parent. And I refuse to put my child on a diet.

I love him too much to do that!

Binge Journal #8


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