Archive for September, 2007

There’s not time for zombies

There’s not time to do things right and fix all of the injustices that are coming my way every day, every minute and I am alarmed at the vividness of this dream. I don’t have a problem waking up to some completely different reality than the one I seem to have been living for a really long time, but someone could have warned me that things were in such an awful state of affairs.

Can you imagine waking up in your cozy little bed and finding that everything was not only different but actually indicative of the worst case scenario? On top of that it’s your responsibility to put things right as well as make it work better. Go that? You have to make it better. Not only is everything different but you are responsible for fixing a really broken thing and making it better. Now get to work.

And I want to wonder where those people are that are responsible! I want that for myself, I want to hold them to wall and ask for an explanation; I deserve that! I want to find out how it all went wrong and why nobody did anything to stop it all from happening. I deserve that. We deserve that!

And why did it all have to be so awful; why so bad? Couldn’t I wake up in one of these dreams to find that everything is okay and that everything is totally fine? Why not? I’ve had it with the worst case baloney. Give me the reality shift that leads to the land of cupcakes and flowers or clouds and smiley faces, okay? You keep this one that I seem to keep rolling over to-

Look, I don’t mean to be ungrateful and I don’t want to seem like the selfish type but, I just don’t have the time, energy or taste to keep waking up to this place that I am born into each day. I never thought that getting my shit together and getting better would ultimately lead to this horror…

Picking a Politician, Brain vs. Gut

From am interesting thread about whether true conservatives who are distancing themselves from their party (Republican) should feel any responsibility for voting for George Bush and the ensuing mess:

It seems to me that the republican party has been extremely casual about how they choose their candidates. I don’t mind two very good and divergent visions for the future of the country… I do, however, mind it when people want to put their candidates onto the ballot, and these folks when elected end up having the kind of approach that Mr. George W. Bush does. You just can’t do that.

You have to fix your party.

Still, how is everyone supposed to automatically intuit the inner workings of a politician’s mind? You’re expecting far too much from people. The real idiots are the ones who voted for him again.

Before the 2000 election, no one would’ve thought it was going to be this bad.

I like what you are saying but I wanted to comment that there were a lot of people, a lot, that knew what Bush was, people who knew who he was. Hell, there was a TV show about how much of an idiot he was (That’s My Bush) and that was in pre-production before he took office.

There were those of us that got queasy when someone said “He’s a real guy, the kind you can have a beer with”, some of us got that knot in their stomach and prayed he wouldn’t ruin things.

Point is you can hold yourself, we can hold ourselves to a higher standard of picking another human being for such a high office. We owe it to each other.

And to finish the initial comment, the people that knew Bush was so ’shaky’? Recovering alcoholics :)

Senate passes a Republican resolution condemning the MoveOn ad that called General Petraeus a biased figurehead 72-25.

In a week where the Republicans in the Senate helped defeat bills that call for child healthcare reform, the strengthening of rules that would allow exhausted soldiers more leave time and then defeated a bill that would end this disgusting war, the Senate finds time to pass a ‘resolution’ condemning an ad from…

This guys from Air America says it much better than I can…

BTW, if you aren’t outraged at the state of this country’s government, then you may need to get your pulse checked. Watch:

He’s Crazy (070918)

I’m looking for my opening image which sets the tone of the entire script and which also seemingly acts as a unifying principle in the overlying metaphor / message of the work. This image is the first thing we see and is somehow ‘answered’ with the last thing we see making this image utterly important and incredibly germane.

So how do I know what this image / idea is?

There are several ideas / threads running through this story:

  • Going crazy - losing one’s mind, the precariousness of mental sanity
  • Being pathetic - (aka emotional) The main character is the guy who always gets dumped. He is on edge with his emotions and in need of being centered. His best friend, a woman, is also pretty pathetic in her secret love for him.
  • Revenge - the main female love interest is a serial killer bent on exacting revenge on the ones who wronged her
  • Battle of the sexes

Battle of the sexes is not what this is about ultimately. There are moments where this is an issue and the overall theme of a woman serial killer is kinda feminist but this doesn’t really set the tone or the mood I am dealing with. Revenge is also kind of a side issue that doesn’t really get to the heart of the matter as does ‘going crazy’. None of these touch on the main character and the arc that he is traveling along.

The image I am leaning towards is of our main character emotionally devastated and crying on the soldier of the woman that is totally in love with him. This event reveals both peoples insecurities and both peoples neediness and characterizes the central theme of the movie which I think is learning to stand on a solid foundation without the emotional triggers tearing us down.

This simple image would also serve as a bookend as he comes back to his best friend at the end, hopefully changed and more of a self-sufficient, confident and action oriented man, able to stand up for himself and take care of himself.

Yes, this is my opening image. I also like the way the story is about one thing (the guy that always gets dumped and then decides to make a stand for the woman he loves, realizes that she is a serial killer) but is really about something more personal and more specifically human.

Dream of the building


There’s no more house in the Hollywood Hills; well, there are no more hills, actually there’s a mountain is a complex to house the people…so many people. And outside there’s the reason for the massive structure that replaced all other structures out of necessity when the things outside started to grow and why they grew was also and odd story.

But I’ll start inside the mountain-sized structure but more like a mountain range structure and a big mountain range. Inside there were so many people and so many places. Nook and cranny type living that went deeper and deeper into the mountain-like structure. The kinda place that over the years has become like some crazy labyrinth the way to underground became in NYC.

Inside there was everything and turf and neighborhoods inaccessible from other neighborhoods and you name it. There were natural barriers like the Trash Guidance Line out of the structure or like the Government Offices that rode out of the North wall of the structure. Here were the Social Security, the

In one of the neighborhoods, deep in the structure, the Sunset one I think, a guy named Denh lived and worked at the local Office of Sensitivity ( you lived where you worked out of necessity and ease). He fixed the end cards for the Robots that were so popular these days.

Let me tell you a little bit about these Robots. The Kenjiki –Matszuki Company began production with those little Japanese Robots that could do little task and perform little stunts. They evolved quite a bit and now perform many more tasks that resemble human behavior and interactions. They never became human sized, I guess, cause of the portability, so they were about the size of a medium sized Teddy Bear.

There really weren’t any pets anymore because of the people and the hunger and so forth. I kinda think that the Robots fit in the place of these pets cause they didn’t eat or couldn’t be eaten and they provide a lot of things and-


Wake up - The Shock Doctrine - the business of exploiting disaster

Her explosive new book exposes the lie that free markets thrive on freedom. In our first exclusive extract, the No Logo author reveals the business of exploiting disaster

Alfonso Cuarón, director of “Children of Men”, and Naomi Klein, author of “No Logo”, present a short film from Klein’s book “The Shock Doctrine: The Rise of Disaster Capitalism.” Watch it:

Will we wake up and learn to stop reacting to their disaster manipulation?

Binge Journal #15 (Killed by Carbs)

The diet I mentioned I was on, The South beach diet, will no longer be referred to as a diet and will instead be known as a ‘lifestyle change’ or an ‘eating style’. ‘Why’ do you ask? Because I am done punishing myself in an effort to get a habit to stick. It never works. Ever.

What does work s negotiating very slowly with myself over things that work and make us feel better. This low carbohydrate eating ’style’ has done wonders for me. Besides the fact that I am down almost 2 pants sizes in 5 weeks, I have never had more energy, been less tired and enjoyed eating without shame since I was…well, since never.

I have always had a bit of hypoglycemia and was always swinging madly between states of sugar overload and sugar deficiency. This new style of eating where carbs are only consumed if they are good carbs (beans, buts, whole grains) has trained my pancreas, whose job it is to regulate my blood sugar, to slowly release the insulin I need and to keep my blood sugar balanced.

I feel great, sleep better, never get hungry till meal time, never get afternoon sleepy and have completely steered away from the junk that this society pushes on us 24/7.

I will post some photos soon…I am also looking for a scale to weigh myself. Maybe I can go to the mall and find one in a store.

If you have time watch this video and you will get a sense of what we, as Americans, are up against when it comes to getting fatter. Each person needs to take responsibility for their actions and themselves BUT…well just watch the video…


“The Moral Majority” reprinted from: (

January 23, 2007: Republican radio personality Scott Eller Cortelyou of Denver arrested on suspicion of using the Internet to lure a child into a sexual relationship

January 29, 2007: Republican former Jefferson County, Colorado, Treasurer Mark Paschall indicted on two felony charges “in connection with an allegation that Paschall solicited a kickback from a bonus he awarded one of his employees”

January 31, 2007: Republican Congressman Gary Miller is named by Republicans as ranking member of oversight subcommittee of House Financial Services Committee despite the FBI’s investigation into his land deals

February 14, 2007: Major Republican fundraiser Brent Wilkes and former CIA executive director Kyle “Dusty” Foggo are indicted by a grandy jury for corrupting CIA contracts

February 16, 2007: Major Republican donor Abdul Tawala Ibn Ali Alishtari, aka Michael Mixon, is indicted in federal court on charges of providing material support to terrorists

March 5, 2007: Ethics complaint filed against Republican Senator Pete Domenici for his role in the Attorney Purge scandal

March 6, 2007: I. Lewis “Scooter” Libby, former chief of staff to Vice President Dick Cheney found guilty of obstruction of justice and perjury

March 8, 2007: Republican former U.S. Congressman and Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich admits to extramarital affair

March 23, 2007: Former Deputy Interior Secretary J. Steven Griles, an oil and gas lobbyist who became an architect of George W. Bush’s energy policies, pleads guilty to obstructing justice by lying to a Senate committee

And it goes on and on and…

When I first started recovery for what ailed me, I remember reading books about how doctors and researchers were finding that pedophilia and incest were rampant in our society in numbers that were staggering.

They called it institutionalized, which meant that it is woven into our society, hidden, covered up for and understood as part of this world.

I thought that was impossible, how could I not see it? How could so many people get away with so much bad behavior and have nobody notice. But as it turns out, these behaviors a fairly common. Look at a list like this.

And we have turned an incredibly introspective eye (internet, hyper-culture) on our ills…everything is coming undone in the sense that nothing can be hidden anymore, everything will be revealed and is being revealed as I write…

This list is just another part of this ‘revelation’ of who we are and what we really do.

Like watching a train wreck from inside the train.