Archive for Definitions

Bastille Day – 714 – Gen X

Hooray for the French Revolution! I am the Prince of Bastille Day (according to my friends in Tallahassee Florida that celebrate the day by getting drunk and popping Quaaludes (marked with ‘714’ on the pill). Therefore they made me the “Prince” of Bastille Day and would dose my beers with quaaludes until I passed out.) Hooray for Quaaludes!

I was born or hatched on July 14, 1969…the summer of love. Some would say a great time to be born! I say, “thanks for nothing”. Why?

I was born Gen X, of the Baby Boomers, during the summer of love and the heyday of the “Me” Generation. A group of American’s that account for the biggest generation ever, some 75 million strong and quickly growing elderly, these folks took their newfound freedom to mean that all bets were off and the rearing of children could be outsourced – divorce, working parents, latch-key, broken economy, lost values, and an about-face when it comes to the ideals that they fought for in the 60ies and 70ies.

But I am not here to bury the Boomers, I am here to celebrate the day of my birth that is also the birthday of Ingmar Bergman, one of the greatest film directors to grace the Earth.

  • 7/14/1969 – 714 – 21…
  • 714 was the total number of home runs Babe Ruth hit
  • 714 was the badge number of Sgt. Joe Friday, played by Jack Webb in the radio and television series Dragnet.
  • 714 Delaware Street was the home address of the Connors in the television series Roseanne.
  • Area code 714 was the telephone area code for most of Southern California beyond Los Angeles County during the 1960s and 1970s. It would later be reduced in size until it essentially only covered portions of Orange County.
  • 714 is a slang term for the drug, methaqualone. This is due to the fact that 714 was stamped on the tablet sold under the brand name Quaalude by William H Rorer Inc.
  • (Thank you Wikipedia) Now back to bitching…

    So basically, I am a grumpy Generation X member that is listless, lazy and lost in space. I will leave you with a quote from a mid-nineties article in Time Magazine that tells you who I am, who Gen X is, much better than I could:

    . . .They possess only a hazy sense of their own identity but a monumental preoccupation with all the problems the preceding generation will leave for them to fix . . .This is the twentysomething generation, those 48 million young Americans ages 18 through 29 who fall between the famous baby boomers and the boomlet of children the baby boomers are producing. Since today’s young adults were born during a period when the U.S. birthrate decreased to half the level of its postwar peak, in the wake of the great baby boom, they are sometimes called the baby busters. By whatever name, so far they are an unsung generation, hardly recognized as a social force or even noticed much at all…By and large, the 18-to-29 group scornfully rejects the habits and values of the baby boomers, viewing that group as self-centered, fickle and impractical.While the baby boomers had a placid childhood in the 1950s, which helped inspire them to start their revolution, today’s twentysomething generation grew up in a time of drugs, divorce and economic strain. . .They feel paralyzed by the social problems they see as their inheritance: racial strife, homelessness, AIDS, fractured families and federal deficits.

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Intent – Truth or Lie

Just give me the truth
no matter how painful it is
no matter how high the lie
how low the deed
just give me the truth
and set the truth free
and set the precedent
that the only motivation
is the intent for truth
and the working of all things
to be set in flow…

I know, I know
but it’s only the easy way
it is the only lack of effort
the effortless to do what
is suppose to be done. The effort
is for the lie, the energy
is the lie, the intent
is not possibly sustained.

Do the easy thing,
Do the truth…

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Surrogate

A person or animal that functions as a substitute for another, as in a social or family role.

That’s me. I’m the surrogate guy (zombie). That’s where I feel comfortable, that’s the role I feel comfortable in. Gimme a girl that has a long distance boyfriend or a girl with an emotionally unavailable guy and I fit right in. It’s perfect for me cause I can have them, without them wanting anything from me. In my fake world where I am always being overwhelmed by people, being innundated by people, these relationships are what suits me.

See it goes back to my mom. She hated my dad and he hated her. They led separate lives only working together which drove them farther and farther apart. Now nature hates a vaccuum so before I could make a contrary decision, mom had already unconsciously slotted me in as her new hubby.

We used to do all kinds of fun things (nothing sexual cause this isn’t about sex, this is about roles and lonliness). Being that I was incredibly smart, she would unload all of her issues on me and like any good man, I would fix them – cept I was like 8 or 9. Pretty soon, I was comfortable being her therapist and being the man of the house. To the point that I would try to intervene bwteen her and my father’s drunken fights. The worst part was when they would reconcile for a few brief days – I never knew that jealousy and abandonment could get that high.

The closest and worst it got to being sexual was when I would come home as a teenager, late at night, and mom would be listening to her old 45s, dancing around and singing. She always wanted me to dance with her, she always had those eyes…even as a young teen I knew what they meant and felt like I was gonna crawl from my skin.

I’m 37 now and just starting to crawl out from under this weight. It has colored all my relationships since with massive feelings of abandonment, enmeshment, jealousy and morbid depression. A child should never be in a position to feel superior to their parents. A child should never be in a role that takes them from being the child and gives them the same repsonsibilities as the adults.

A child is a child. Let them stay that way.

And now I am not a surrogate. I refuse those types of relationship no matter how comfortable they feel.

I will only be the original, I will only be the principle.

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Random Quote

“No matter how much you do for some people, it never seems to be enough. That, of course, is because, secretly, they enjoy feeing dissatisfied. If you could actually manage to give them all they wanted, it would ruin their lives entirely! There is nothing wrong with an endless process. We should never feel that something must be completed before it has merit. Some of the greatest buildings (and symphonies) in the world are unfinished. It is though, time to end the charade that is going nowhere. ”

-unknown

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Magnanimous

  1. generous in forgiving an insult or injury; free from petty resentfulness or vindictiveness: to be magnanimous toward one’s enemies.
  2. high-minded; noble: a just and magnanimous ruler.
  3. proceeding from or revealing generosity or nobility of mind, character, etc.: a magnanimous gesture of forgiveness.

Are you having a party? Invite them all.
Are you going somewhere with friends? Invite that lonely guy that just moved to town.

There’s always enough room.
There’s always enough food.
There’s always more where that came from.

And this is why there is no need for us to be so greedy.

There’s plenty to go around-
And what goes around always comes back around.

So give-
and receive…

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Unloaded

Much better, all done.

Lighter. I can breathe easier,
relax my butt cheeks and stop
holding my muscles like
death grip.

all it took was to unload.

cheers to unload, the physical
act of mentalizing; the transferrence,
release – out of the head,
into the body.

Carry on-

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Mastery and low level buzz-

Mastery
–noun, plural
1. command or grasp, as of a subject: a mastery of Italian.
2. superiority or victory: mastery over one’s enemies.
3. the act of mastering.
4. expert skill or knowledge.
5. the state of being master; power of command or control.

Only fifty years ago mastery was much easier to come by. Every couple of years you got a new car or a new dishwasher and that was all good. You had time to learn all the features, all the minor nuances of each and every product you bought.

Not anymore, baby!

Today, the average Joe has upwards of a month to learn a product before the new one shows up. Mostly people never master the products or objects in their life at all.

This is the norm for the last 20 years.

Early studies are finding that this dislocation from a feeling of mastery has produced a society wide, low level depression. Not enough to be bad on its own, but when that depression is layered on the many other stresses of life, one could see how a major decline in the quality of life could be sweeping across our country, our world.

They liken it to a buzz, that underlies our lives…a depressive buzz…

Just something to be aware of as we understand and uncover the complexities that are our psychological lives.

Mastery – it’s a cool word too!

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