Climb out of that hole

I forget sometimes exactly who I have become after years of work, after staring into the abyss and not blinking, I lose sight of the truth of my strongest aspects and fall victim to the weakest. As I have created my own healthy reality and pushed my life towards its own good goals and truths, I can still be blind sided by someone else’s dream, by someone else’s reality.

And this is an essential lesson and proof of old causes that I have not yet cleared from my overall karma. There are still a few aspects to my personality I have not yet ironed out. Those aspects need the light shone on them for me to be able to clear them out and learn to react a different way. And there are far fewer of these blindsides than when I started this process so long ago but, there they are nonetheless.

And nobody is at fault; I am not blaming the other for their dream and how it infected me. They no more intended to hit me with their mess than I did in allowing myself to fall under the spell. There is no blame just change and learning and responding to things in a different way. There is only the time when faced with the way you do things, to break free and try another tact. I am actually utterly grateful that I have these close and dear friends to show me the areas that still need work.

But we can never be done as there is always much work to do to fulfill the goals you set for yourself and break free from the patterns we all repeat, over and over, from our childhoods. Sometimes these are good patterns but mostly, they fall in the category of bad habits and most of the time we can’t even see these patterns because they feel so normal and are much easier to just ride out.

But what fun would that be?

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