Zombie alert

I woke up four years ago.
quit alcohol and cigs
broke up with my girlfriend
and started a very comprehensive therapy
that teaches the person the things they never were taught.

Why? Cause as I got older (37), inside I was an
emotional cripple, a child
that looks for ways to feel rejection and sadness-
a sadness addict that never progressed.

Now, four years later, four long years,
four years of no outside love
no physical touch, I am ready for love.
I need love. I am better and ready.

But of course the old stuff still lurks and trips me up.

Still picking unavailable people, only now I know when it happens.
And now I have to stop, where as before I would hang on. This
is progress, I have to move on.

But it still hurts. I still feel like dying.
cause this person is with someone else.

Dammit old ways, you will change!

I’m better than this!
C’mon me!

You can do this, Me! You can be patient, you will be happy!
Be patient, have fun, let go. This is not the end of the world!

I know you can!

I know you can!

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